TRUMP ORDERS GATHERING OF THE JUGGALOS TO BE CANCELED

President Trump has signed an executive order canceling a popular hip hop music festival.

The Gathering of the Juggalos (The Gathering or GOTJ) is an annual festival put on by the hip hop group Insane Clown Posse, featuring performances by ICP as well as numerous well-known musical groups and other lesser known washed up 90’s White funk and heavy metal bands.

In recent years the festival has been primarily attended by ICP fans known as “Juggalos” who are suspected by the FBI to be an anti-American terrorist gang.

In 2016 officials in the Obama administration identified a known Muslim terrorist group to frequent the festival known as The Juggalos for Allah.

Juggalos For Allah members are suspected in several terrorist attacks including a failed attempt on a Minnesota Congressman that resulted in two Juggalos burning their lips on the tail pipe of the congressman’s car when they were allegedly trying to blow it up.

White House Communication Director Anthony Scaramucci announced the cancellation Friday and said this is another in a series of steps to rid America of the Juggalo terrorist scourge and make America great again.

“I can tell you for a fact, “Scaramucci told Fox News, “I President Trump said the Juggalos are terrorists they are. President Trump has great terrorist instincts and is the best man in the World to watch these Juggalo people. He has the most wonderful political savvy I have ever seen and is a great, great man. When I talk to President Trump I feel as if I have been talking to God himself. I love President Trump with all my heart and soul and would gladly take a Juggalo bullet for him. Just the other day I was in the rest room with President Trump and he turned to talk to me and accidentally got a little pee on me. It felt electric like it was holy water pee or something. I swear I felt like I had been peed on by Jesus himself. I took those pants home and hung them on my wall. I will keep them and love them forever.”

Scaramucci said the festival, which was planned to take place next weekend would be banned until further notice per federal law.

“Stuttering Ray” Blowchunks (real name unknown), spokesman for the Juggalos For Allah said the charges were ridiculous and his group planned no terrorist activity at the festival or at any other time.

“This is so whack bro.,” Blowchunks said, “All we want to do is come together with our Fam, listen to some jam, drink some Fargo, and look at them pretty t*ttys on them lettes. I don’t even care if the cancel the music as long as I can get high and scope them t*ttys.”

Insane Clown Posse sued the FBI in 2014 for designating it’s fans as terrorists and denies any terrorist activity at their concerts.

Joseph Bruce known by his stage name Violent J, ICP founder and professional wrestler said their fans are misunderstood and not terrorists.

“Many people view Juggalos as nonconformists,” Bruce said, “because of their musical tastes, their practice of painting their faces to look like clowns, and the distinctive Juggalo symbols including the ‘hatchetman’ logo. Yet when Juggalos come together at concerts or their annual week-long gathering every summer, they know that they are in a community where all people are equal and where they will be accepted and respected for who they are. We are trying to get this overturned but if we can’t there will be no refunds. Our ninjas understand when we get paid that’s our money. We ain’t giving it back. I know the fam is probably mad but we paid ninjas, so suck it.”

Insane Clown Posse lawyers have filed an injunction which should be ruled upon by next week.

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