TRUMP CREATES NEW WHITE FRIDAY HOLIDAY

President Trump helped kick off the traditional Fox News ‘War on Christmas’ season by announcing a new initiative to allow Christians to take their holiday back and make America great again.

The President announced that the shopping day following Thanksgiving, formerly known as “Black Friday”, would instead be referred to by all government agencies henceforth as “White Friday.” Black Friday was a shopping day for a combination of reasons. As the first day after the last major holiday before Christmas, it marks the unofficial beginning of the Christmas shopping season. Additionally, many employers give their employees the day off as part of the Thanksgiving holiday weekend. it was unofficially dubbed “Black Friday” since most stores make huge profits and go “in the black” doing a large part of their yearly business during the season starting on this day.

“I’m so thankful for all the wonderful things I have done this year”, Trump said at an appearance Thanksgiving day,”now I want to celebrate the huge shopping day tomorrow by making it a little more cheery. From now on we should call it ‘White Friday’ because black just makes people feel depressed and make people want to sit around listening to all the lies about collusion in the fake news media. I know the haters will try to say this is racist. It has nothing to do with race. The blacks have a lot of fun buying and looting things on this day too. They already have black history month and Martin Luther King day which commemorates the day Dr. King got shot. Why can’t White people have a nice day of shopping named after them? I mean most of the stores are owned by White people, and some Jews, anyway.

Although the executive order is not legally binding, the President hopes people will respect the new rule in the spirit of national unity.

About 38 percent of American consumers plan to shop on Black Friday this year, and six in 10 of those shoppers anticipate making at least half of their holiday purchases on that day, a Reuters/Ipsos poll showed last week. Over a trillion dollars in sales is expected today and over the weekend.

FIRST LADY CALLS FOR IVANKA TRUMP TO BE FIRED

WASHINGTON — In an extraordinary move for a first lady, Melania Trump’s office on Wednesday publicly called for the firing of a Ivanka Trump as first daughter and advisor to President Trump.

Stephanie Grisham, the first lady’s communications director issued a statement around 4:30 p.m. saying the blonde bombshell should no longer serve as an advisor or family member to the President.

“It is the position of the Office of the First Lady that Ivanka no longer deserves the honor of serving in this White House,” Grisham said.

This came only one day after the first lady called for the firing of Mira Ricardel, a senior National Security Council staff member.

It is rumored that Ivanka Trump and Melania Trump don’t have the warmest relationship.The first lady has been suspicious of Ivanka ever since a Howard Stern interview when President Trump stated he wanted to “date his daughter.” There have always been suspicions surrounding this statement enhanced by the rumors that Ivanka’s husband, Jared Kushner, is actually a transgender woman.

There’s never been a first daughter quite like Ivanka. She is directly involved with policy- making, and strives to be considered as one of her father’s hottest advisers. Even though there’s not much overlap between her and the first lady, her role in the White House is reportedly causing tension. According to the New York Times, her relationship with Melania is “complicated.” President Trump reportedly touches Ivanka much more often than he does the first lady which leads to confusion.

Chief of Staff John Kelly reportedly has to act as mediator between Ivanka’s staff and Melania’s staff when this sort of tension arises. Kelly has previously been quoted describing the Trump children’s involvement in their father’s administration as “playing government.” Apparently, Kelly, a former Marine Corps general, had to intervene when both women posed for photo ops with black children within days of each other.

According to the Times, while Melania was in Ghana as part of her tour of Africa,she held a baby upside down swinging it like a purse, and the photo was distributed to the press, and video of the meeting was posted to the first lady’s Instagram.

The White House declined to comment and threatened to revoke the press passes of anyone reporting on this story.

Trump holds last-minute campaign rally in Tennessee

President Trump was in Tennessee for a rally Sunday night with Vice President Mike Pence on behalf of Marsha Blackburn, the Republican candidate for Senate.

In Chattanooga, Tennessee, Mr. Trump warned again that caravans of immigrants are on their way to flood across the southern border.

When Blackburn took the stage briefly, she told supporters, “If you want to vote no to Hillary Clinton and her cronies one more time, stand with me.” The crowd responded with the chant, “Lock her up!”