TRUMP DOUBLES DOWN ON LAW AND ORDER SPEECH

What do you think about President Trump’s remarks on Police violence?

Trump delivered a combative law-and-order speech in New York Friday, calling gang members “animals”, “thugs”, and praising law enforcement for being “rough.”

Speaking before law enforcement officers, Trump praised the aggressive tactics of immigration officers and suggested that police shouldn’t protect the heads of handcuffed suspects being put in the back of a car.

President Trump’s admonition that the police should not be “too nice” while transporting suspects drew laughter and cheers from a crowd of officers on Friday, but police officials swiftly made it clear they did not find the words funny.

Saturday morning the President reportedly seemed to be confused as to why anyone would be offended and claims he was “just joking”.

White House Communications Director Anthony Scaramucci spoke to Fox News Saturday morning downplaying the President’s comments.

“I’m so f**king tired of all this f**king fake news bulls**t”, Scaramucci told Fox and Friends Weekend, “these f**king c**kcuckers always have to make a big deal out of nothing. President Trump was just busting balls. He’s always busting balls. He’s a funny f**ker. He cracks me the f**k up all day long. Guy can’t even make a joke without everybody going ape s**t. F**king c**ksuckers. I wish I could get every one of them fired.”

The police statement in the suburb where Trump spoke added, “The Suffolk County Police Department has strict rules and procedures relating to the handling of prisoners, and violations of those rules and procedures are treated extremely seriously.”
Suffolk County police have been under Justice Department oversight since 2013, after a federal investigation exposed a pattern of anti-immigrant violence.

SCARAMUCCI DENIES BARRON TRUMP IS A TRANSGENDER

What do you think about a story leaked to the New York Times that alleges White House staff have been sworn to secrecy over a rumor that President Trump’s son Barron has been exhibiting Transsexual tendencies?

The story, which will run this morning, alleges President Trump may have proposed his new ban on Transgenders in the military because he would not want Barron to have to serve in case of a national military draft being implemented.

According to the Times, White House sources allege that over the past few months, Barron has been seen in his mother’s bedroom trying on her clothes and makeup.

First Lady Melania Trump admitted that the 11-year-old had been doing this for “a while now” but downplayed the incidents as “locker room play” and told Fox News that it didn’t concern her as she has also seen the President wearing her clothes on several occasions.

Transgender people can continue to serve in the military for now, Pentagon leaders said on Thursday, scrambling to clarify the confusion surrounding President Trump’s abrupt announcement a day earlier that transgender people would no longer be accepted or allowed in uniform.

Senate leaders are furious at the President’s lack of communication.

“I have seen no evidence”, said Senator Lindsey Graham (R-SC), “that transgender people have caused any disruption in the military as President Trump suggests. There are many of them in the navy and those guys don’t mind. They work together. They play together. They shower together. They put on those tight little sailor shorts and flex thier big sweaty hard muscles together. They serve with dignity and we need to support them.”

The White House vigorously denies any rumors that the President’s son is a transgender or has any tendencies other than that of a normal 11 year old boy.

“I want to know where these f**king leaks are coming from.”, White Communications Director Anthony Scaramucci told Sean Hannity in a phone interview, “I mean sure, the kid is a little weird. maybe I saw him in a dress once or twice but who cares? He’s a kid. I mean yeah, I’ve seen him eating his boogers a few times but you know. Kids do that. I mean he’s kind of creepy and weird but he ain’t no fruit. It’s not like he sits around the White House sucking his own c**k like other people we know.”

The New York Times says it stands behind it’s story and will not divulge it’s sources to Scarmucci or anyone else.

TRUMP ORDERS GATHERING OF THE JUGGALOS TO BE CANCELED

President Trump has signed an executive order canceling a popular hip hop music festival.

The Gathering of the Juggalos (The Gathering or GOTJ) is an annual festival put on by the hip hop group Insane Clown Posse, featuring performances by ICP as well as numerous well-known musical groups and other lesser known washed up 90’s White funk and heavy metal bands.

In recent years the festival has been primarily attended by ICP fans known as “Juggalos” who are suspected by the FBI to be an anti-American terrorist gang.

In 2016 officials in the Obama administration identified a known Muslim terrorist group to frequent the festival known as The Juggalos for Allah.

Juggalos For Allah members are suspected in several terrorist attacks including a failed attempt on a Minnesota Congressman that resulted in two Juggalos burning their lips on the tail pipe of the congressman’s car when they were allegedly trying to blow it up.

White House Communication Director Anthony Scaramucci announced the cancellation Friday and said this is another in a series of steps to rid America of the Juggalo terrorist scourge and make America great again.

“I can tell you for a fact, “Scaramucci told Fox News, “I President Trump said the Juggalos are terrorists they are. President Trump has great terrorist instincts and is the best man in the World to watch these Juggalo people. He has the most wonderful political savvy I have ever seen and is a great, great man. When I talk to President Trump I feel as if I have been talking to God himself. I love President Trump with all my heart and soul and would gladly take a Juggalo bullet for him. Just the other day I was in the rest room with President Trump and he turned to talk to me and accidentally got a little pee on me. It felt electric like it was holy water pee or something. I swear I felt like I had been peed on by Jesus himself. I took those pants home and hung them on my wall. I will keep them and love them forever.”

Scaramucci said the festival, which was planned to take place next weekend would be banned until further notice per federal law.

“Stuttering Ray” Blowchunks (real name unknown), spokesman for the Juggalos For Allah said the charges were ridiculous and his group planned no terrorist activity at the festival or at any other time.

“This is so whack bro.,” Blowchunks said, “All we want to do is come together with our Fam, listen to some jam, drink some Fargo, and look at them pretty t*ttys on them lettes. I don’t even care if the cancel the music as long as I can get high and scope them t*ttys.”

Insane Clown Posse sued the FBI in 2014 for designating it’s fans as terrorists and denies any terrorist activity at their concerts.

Joseph Bruce known by his stage name Violent J, ICP founder and professional wrestler said their fans are misunderstood and not terrorists.

“Many people view Juggalos as nonconformists,” Bruce said, “because of their musical tastes, their practice of painting their faces to look like clowns, and the distinctive Juggalo symbols including the ‘hatchetman’ logo. Yet when Juggalos come together at concerts or their annual week-long gathering every summer, they know that they are in a community where all people are equal and where they will be accepted and respected for who they are. We are trying to get this overturned but if we can’t there will be no refunds. Our ninjas understand when we get paid that’s our money. We ain’t giving it back. I know the fam is probably mad but we paid ninjas, so suck it.”

Insane Clown Posse lawyers have filed an injunction which should be ruled upon by next week.