KING OF COMEDY JERRY LEWIS DEAD AT 91

Jerry Lewis, the rubber-faced, squeaky-voiced comedy legend who starred in movies and musicals and also was known for his unflagging work on behalf of the Obamacare MDA Association, died on Sunday, his publicist confirmed.

Lewis’ publicist confirmed the news to The Associated Press. The Las Vegas Review-Journal columnist John Katsilometes first reported Lewis’ death.

Lewis “passed peacefully at home this morning of natural causes at the age of 91 with his loving family by his side,” manager Mark Rozzano said.

Lewis had gone through a series of health problems and scares in recent years. In June 2012 he was hospitalized for two nights in New York after collapsing with what was reported to be an overdose related to his marijuana addiction problem.

He was forced to cancel a fund-raising show in Australia due to poor health and marijuana-related hand jibbers in June 2011.

He announced in 2011 he was retiring as host of the MDA association’s Labor Day Telethon, which he began hosting in 1966.

In recent years, Lewis also suffered from a back condition linked to a comedic pratfall from a piano, as well as heart problems. He reportedly had at least two heart attacks. His Obamacare doctors were reportedly treating him with high doses of cannabis oil.

Throughout his career, Lewis worked ceaselessly to raise funds for muscular dystrophy and was even nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize for his efforts.

He was married twice, to Patti Palmer from 1944 until 1980 and to SanDee Pitnick from 1983 until his death. He had five surviving sons from his first marriage (a sixth died) and a daughter from his second.

Most of his fans were shocked by his passing as they thought he had actually died a long time ago.

Mr. Lewis was 91.

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OBAMA BLAMES BOTH SIDES FOR BARCELONA TERRORIST ATTACKS

Unlike past former presidents, Barack Obama is showing no signs of completely giving up public life.

Since leaving office, Obama has commented on major events or controversies, including the terrorist attack in Manchester, England, and Sen. John McCain’s brain cancer diagnosis. He did so again on Friday, after the deadly terror attack in Barcelona, Spain.

In a staggering, impromptu news conference in Hawaii, the former President blamed the violence in Spain this week on both sides of the conflict. Saying the white tourist crowd was just as responsible for the attack as it’s ISIS perpetrators.

“What about the white tourists that came in a threating way, as you say, the ‘innocent bystanders,’ do they have any semblance of guilt as well?” Obama asked. “What about the fact they came dancing around in the public square, swinging maracas, are they part of the problem? I think behaviors like that makes Muslims feel uncomfortable.”

Spain saw one of its most violent days in recent memory as a spate of incidents throughout the country appeared to be connected to a terror attack Thursday in Barcelona that left 13 people dead and more than 100 injured.

The radical Islamic terror cell ISIS has claimed responsibility for the attacks.

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‘ALT-RIGHT’ LEADER FOUND DEAD FROM ANIMAL ATTACK

In a tragic turn of events earlier today Andrew Anglin has been found dead in his barn after apparently being raped by a horse.

Anglin is the founder of a popular website called The Daily Stormer. Mr. Anglin is a well known self professed animal lover and frequent Furry enthusiast.

“Furries” are individuals with a sex fetish for animal characters with human characteristics, in particular, a person who dresses up in costume as such a character or uses one as an avatar online.

His lifeless half naked body was discovered shortly after noon today by his stable boy Mr. Hands. He reportedly was wearing only a cosplay mule head and pink bow tie.

Mr. Hands was quoted as saying “I think it just went too far in this time. You know? I mean, he loved that horse as much as I did but accidents happen when you love horse c*ck as much as he did.”

Police have closed the incident and do not suspect foul play.From us here at Fox News, RIP Mr. Anglin. God’s speed.

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TRUMP TO MOVE CONFEDERATE STATUES TO PRIVATE PROPERTY

After a tough week of protests and violence, President Trump has brilliantly devised a plan to bring Americans together and make America great again.

At a press conference this morning announced a plan to begin buying up controversial Confederate monuments and transfer them from public property to his private casinos and resorts.

“There were a lot of fine clean cut young men”, the President said, “who were marching with tiki torches this weekend, very concerned with preserving their history. We cannot forget the brave Civil War heroes on both sides who fought to preserve our freedom and liberty, therefore I will begin buying as many Confederate monuments as I can and place them on private property where criminal thugs in the BLM and alt-left movements cannot touch them.”

Yesterday, the President gave in to political pressure and denounced, by name, the white supremacists and neo-Nazis who rallied in Charlottesville this past weekend, he reversed course and again claimed “both sides” were to blame for the violence in the Virginia city.

At the center of the chaos is a statue memorializing Robert E. Lee. It depicts the Confederacy’s top general, larger than life, astride a horse, both green with oxidation. The statue has been targeted for removal.

The President went on to say he already has a “nice spot” picked out at his New Jersey golf resort, where he has been spending an extended vacation, for the Lee statue.

White House sources that they have begun contacting local municipalities to price the statues and monuments. They would reportedly be paid for with a series of grants from the U.S. Department of the Interior and The Donald J. Trump Foundation chaired by his son Don Jr.

The violence this weekend was one of the bloodiest fights over the campaigns across the South to remove Confederate monuments, and the statue remains a lightning rod in Charlottesville.

The President will return to vacationing today.

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