Wednesday, July 13, 2016


Yesterday as Presidential candidate Bernie Sanders officially endorsed Hillary Clinton for the democratic nominee. All over the country and parts of Canada, there have been reports of mass suicide by Sanders supporters.

Our Fox affiliate in Portland is reporting that the death count will reach into the thousands. There are bodies wrapped in tie dyed t-shirts and Native American themed ponchos are scattered all over the area.

When interviewed a dying Dirk McDuchebag was quoted as saying "This is the only way. I'll never get my free collage education, but at least this way I won't have to pay for my own burial." Another dying man who only wanted to be identified as "The Ultimate Bernie Bro" said as he lie on the ground choking for air "Death is a far better future than living under a Clinton regime. She's a fake Democrap who only works for the man and wants to come and take our guns".

When asked which man, Mr. Ultimate Bernie Bro had already died. So we will never know the true identity of the man in question.

As always here at Fox News, this is a developing story and we will be updating our viewers regularly.