Saturday, June 18, 2016


On Wednesday, police in Orlando, Florida, recovered the body of a toddler who was dragged underwater by an alligator while staying at Disney's Grand Floridian Resort.

Though alligators are as common as transexual crack dealers in the state, the incident raises questions about whether Disney could have prevented the boy's death.

Two-year-old Lane Graves was wading in shallow water on the shore of the Seven Seas Lagoon when he was seized.

"No swimming" signs were displayed, but they did not warn specifically about the presence of alligators in the water, a situation that a Disney spokeswoman said was being reviewed.

People For The Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) believes that more alligators should be bred and placed into the wild to cut down on the threats of alligator violence.They also believe ending Florida's ban on private ownership of alligators would put more 'gator on the streets' thereby curbing the wild alligator threat.

Jacque  Meyov, Press Secretary of PETA, adopted on Friday a significantly more ominous and expansive line of reasoning than he has before in order to make the case that newer, more dangerous threats require Americans to buy more alligators, join PETA and organize opposition to Alligator control measures.

“Hurricanes. Tornadoes. Riots. Terrorists. Gangs. Alligators.  Sharks. Snakes.These are perils we are sure to face — not just maybe,” Meyov wrote in a commentary published by The Daily Callous, a conservative news site. “It’s not paranoia to buy a alligator. It’s survival. It’s responsible behavior, and it’s time we encourage law-abiding Americans to do just that. If you get attacked by an alligator,you can sic your alligator on him and you are safe. The only thing that can stop a bad alligator in a lake is a good alligator in a lake.”

Florida Fish and Game Department spokesmen scoffed at the idea and has instead proposed 'Alligator Free Zones' where walls would be built in certain lakes to prevent the animals from coming into contact with humans.

Hank Young, a Florida Game Warden told Fox News,"Well, while alligator on alligator violence may distract the animals from attacking people, it's out position that the easiest way to not get bit by an alligator is to not be around alligators."

PETA rejects the idea as foolish and draconian. "Look, other countries like England have tried Alligator bans,it doesn't work," Meyov said, "You take the alligators away, people just get bit by spiders, snakes, and Gorillas at the zoo, so what difference does it make?"

Mike 'Lefty' Minot,head gator wrangler at The Kissimmee Florida Gatorworld Alligator Farm is totally disgusted by Fish and Game's plan.

"Look, Gators are nice.Sure they might take an arm or a leg sometimes but for the most part they don't bother people," he said, "Alligators don't kill people. People kill people by letting their little kids play around alligators."

Minot,a supporter of the PETA plan, remained defiant in the wake of the new regulations.

"If the government comes for my alligator," Minot told Fox News,"they are going to have to pry him from all three of my cold dead fingers."