Saturday, May 7, 2016

Kirk Cameron: Marriage, the Bible, and Sandwiches

Christian favorite and child star Kirk Cameron has come out as the latest celebrity to endorse fisting,a sex act where a man places his closed fist inside a woman's vagina, within the boundaries of a Christian marriage.

Cameron, who travels to churches across the United States to teach married couples about the importance of having a God-centered marriage and the importance of fighting to keep their marriages alive, spoke with Bill O'Riley, Cameron made the statements during a taping of Fox's own Fear Factor. Cameron has recently been under fire for stating that women are at fault for every marital problem because they're uppity and they don't know their place within the confines of marriage.

Cameron's Christian teachings tell him that women should do whatever their husband says because he is the leader under God and women are too dumb to know what's best for them anyway.

O'Riley questioned Cameron about his theory. O'Riley asked Cameron "What if the couple in question is Jewish or Hindu or something"? Cameron responded by saying "Well that's just dumb. They picked the wrong religion, and they deserve to be married to a bitch". Cameron went on to say "If they picked the wrong religion, they deserve to suffer every day of their miserable life because of that sharp tongued shrew they married, and then burn in a lake of fire for all of eternity while I'm in heaven at the feet of our Lord and savior Jesus Christ". O'Riley then asked Cameron "What if the husband wants to do, you know, devious things to his wife, like I don't know, fisting perhaps"? Cameron then came out in favor of fisting. Cameron was quoted as saying "I've been a fister ever since I got married to what's her face twenty something years ago. She knows her place and does whatever I say". Cameron then explained that when he feels like fisting his wife, he just does it. He was then quoted as saying "It goes both ways though. When I want a big fist up my ass, she has to do that too".

Our very own Bill O'Riley closed the interview by openly converting to Cameron's branch of Christianity and ordering a case of bananas