Tuesday, February 9, 2016

COULTER BLAMES FLINT WATER CRISIS ON LARGE NUMBER OF 'DIRTY WELFARE' PEOPLE LIVING THERE.



Governor Rick Snyder rushed to E.R. during Coulter support event.

At approximately 7:30 this Monday, Governor Rick Snyder was rushed to the University of Michigan ICU with what his AIDS are calling minor cuts and abrasions after falling from a stage. The incident took place at the Brotherhood Clan Center in Howell Michigan during a speaking engagement with the sometimes Fox News contributor Ann Coulter.
Coulter was in Michigan to lend her support to the embattled Governor who is taking heat for a situation in Flint. Before the incident, Coulter offered her support for the Governor in a scathing speech. "These uppity people in Flint want free stuff, and clean water or something. Well fuck those guys. They need to pay for it like the rest of us" Coulter went on to say, "The Governor didn't do anything wrong by speeding up the death of a bunch of stupid losers. He's just accelerating the inevitable. It's really an act of kindness and Governor Rick Snyder should be commended for his compassionate euthanasia of people who were dumb enough to move to a city like Flint in the first place".

The Governors aids have reported that the governor was clapping for Mr. Coulter's speech and taking his place at the podium when the fall took place. It was reported that the Governor was startled when Miss Coulter brushed past him and her erect penis brushed up against his buttocks. A witness, Mr. Cletus Sistrfistr was quoted as saying "That's when everything went haywire. The Governors eyes got all big like, and he jumped back like a Furry at a bon fire".

Governor Rick Snyder is expected to be released later this week, and from all of us here at Fox News, God speed sir. The country is with you.