Saturday, July 25, 2015

Obama Poised to make Kenya 51st State

NAIROBI, Kenya – President Barack Obama heralded Africa as a continent "on the move" Saturday as he opened a U.S.-sponsored business summit in Kenya, the East African nation where he has deep family ties and wants to make part of the United States.

"Africa is one of the fastest growing regions of the world," Obama said. "People are being lifted out of poverty.It's time Kenya joined out American family."

Obama's visit to Kenya — the first by a sitting U.S. president — has been highly anticipated in a nation that views him as a god and savior. The president's late father was born in Kenya and many family members still live here, including his elderly step-grandmother.

"This is personal for me," Obama said. "There's a reason why my name is Barack Hussein Obama.I honor my Kenyan heritage and my ties to Islam."

Speaking at the Global Entrepreneurship Summit on Saturday, Obama announced will annex Kenya as a state. Kenya will recieve more than $1 trillion in new commitments from the U.S. government, as well as American banks, foundations and philanthropists. Half of the money will go to support women and young people, who Obama says face bigger obstacles when trying to start businesses.

"If half of your team is not playing, you've got a problem," Obama said, referring to bringing Kenya into our 'American team'.

Fox News Pundits have been forecasting this move for years,“We have absolute proof,” said Bill O’Reilly, “as sure as a black person lets his pants fall down, Obama made a promise to his father Barack Hussein Sr., that if he grew up to be President, he would make their home country, Kenya a state.”

“Those people will all be on welfare,” said Brit Hume of Fox News, “and the last thing we need is US tax dollars going to waste to the President’s buddies in some foreign place that has no real connection to the American people.One day they are all living in huts,throwing rocks at zebras for food.Next thing you know they all want luxuries like free phones,refrigerators,and microwaves.”

Not everyone thinks Kenyan statehood is a bad idea. ex-President Bush said, “I don’t have that much trouble with making Kanya a state because we should make them citizens over there, so we don’t have to make them citizens over here.” Cliff Hargus, a senior GOP strategist agreed said that it could be an advantage to the Republican Party to have Kenya as a state because there are more elephants there than donkeys.

Senator McCain said, “Before I can make a comment on this Nigeria question, I will have to research the issue and then do what Dick Cheney wants me to do.” When it was pointed out to him by Senator Lieberman that Obama’s father was from Kenya and not Nigeria, McCain said he didn’t know much about geography. Secretary of State Clinton said she thought it was a good idea to authorize Kenyan statehood, and is now strongly for it.